How ought we to live in the world?

M. (humbly): "How ought we to live in the world?" Master: "Do all your
duties, but keep your mind on God. Live with all -- with wife and children, father
and mother -- and serve them. Treat them as if they were very dear to you, but know
in your heart of hearts that they do not belong to you. "A maidservant in the house
of a rich man performs all the household duties, but her thoughts are fixed on her
own home in her native village. She brings up her master's children as if they were
her own. She even speaks of them as 'My Rama' or 'My Hari'. But in her own mind
she knows very well that they do not belong to her at all. "The tortoise moves about
in the water. But can you guess where her thoughts are? There on the bank, where
her eggs are lying. Do all your duties in the world, but keep your mind on God. "If
you enter the world without first cultivating love for God, you will be entangled
more and more. You will be overwhelmed with its danger, its grief, its sorrows. And
the more you think of worldly things, the more you will be attached to them." This
was the fifth commandment of Sri Ramakrishna. In our last article the practice of
discrimination was discussed. The natural corollary of discrimination is detachment;
discrimination without detachment is useless. Every spiritual aspirant, ultimately,
learns that he has to live in this world with detachment; it is the very corner-stone of
spiritual progress. This teaching of Sri Ramakrishna contains three important points:
1. One must perform one's duties diligently, with reverence and love.
2. One must never forget that no-one in this world belongs to him except God.
3. Without acquiring love for God and some amount of detachment it is impossible
not to be overwhelmed by attachments and cares.
(1) Most of the spiritual aspirants in this world are householders having many
duties, responsibilities and the inevitable worries. If one does not know how to
detach the mind, at least to some extent it is impossible to focus the mind on God. Sri
Ramakrishna gives such devotees clear and definite guidance. One must discharge
one's duties with great love and care. No one can attain the state of inaction except
21
by going through the field of action. For most people it is not possible to sit quiet.
The field of action strengthens one's character. Right attitude, concentration,
tranquillity and devotion - with these every action is transformed into spiritual
practice. Sri Ramakrishna's advice to serve one's parents etc., with great love and
reverence `as if they were very dear to you' is not make believe. He is merely
cautioning us not to fall into the trap of attachment. Many devotees think that they
are serving their parents, family etc with detachment. This is pure self-deception.
When things are going on well they think they are progressing spiritually. But let
there be slight trouble - immediately they are overwhelmed. The test of detachment
can be found in tranquillity of mind. True devotees, under difficult situations, not
only remain tranquil but depend all the more on God. That is why Sri Ramakrishna's
advice is so very important. This was the advice given in the Gita by Sri Krishna to
Arjuna. Every religion emphasizes the practice of detachment. At the same time
detachment must not make us cold, callous and insensitive to others' pain and
feeling. Says Swami Vivekananda: `There are men who are never attracted by
anything. They can never love, they are hard-hearted and apathetic; they escape
most of the miseries of life. But the wall never feels misery, the wall never loves, is
never hurt; but it is the wall, after all. Surely it is better to be attached and caught
than to be a wall. We do not want that. That is weakness, that is death.' Spiritual
aspirants also must be careful not to over-do their duties. In the name of obligations
and duties it is possible to go beyond all reason, to fall into the net of maya. Often
maya masquerades in the form of daya. Sri Ramakrishna used to call impure love
maya, and pure love daya. According to him: 'There is a great deal of difference
between daya, compassion, and maya, attachment. daya is good, but not maya,
maya is love for one's relatives-one's wife, children, brother, sister, nephew, father
and mother. But daya is the same love for all created beings without any distinction.
Again, 'Maya' entangles man and turns him away from God. But through daya one
realizes God.' Devotees are required to develop daya but not maya. So one should
have a clear idea of one's obligations and duties, and how to perform them. A
question by the author of `The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna' makes this clear. Disciple:
How long, Sir, have I obligations to the family? The Master: "So long as the family is
not provided with enough to maintain itself. But if your children can support
themselves, you have no more duty to them." To some householder devotees the
Master said : "You will look upon money only as a means of getting food, clothes
and shelter, of worshipping the Deity and serving Sadhus and devotees. But it is
wrong to hoard it. Bees labour hard to build their hives, but man comes and robs
them. You need not renounce `lust' completely. But after a few children are born,
you and your wife should live like brother and sister."
(2) No one really belongs to any one in this world. A Sanskrit poem says: `Just as
twigs being carried by the current in a river come nearer and again get separated so
also people come nearer and get separated according to the results of their past
actions.' This is absolutely true. If we look back into our past we can realize how true
this statement is. The One and only Eternal Companion of our life is God alone. We
learn this truth only after much suffering. Every being in this world is journeying
22
towards God, the final destination of all. The journey comes to an end only when we
reach Him. Therefore all the unions and separations in this world are only accidental
and meant only to help us develop detachment and devotion. Until we learn our
lessons we will be presented with the same situations and difficulties. Hence Sri
Ramakrishna's advice that we should never forget that no-one belongs to us except
God. "Always consider that your family concerns are not yours; they are God's and
you are His servant come here to obey His commands. When this Idea becomes firm,
there remains nothing indeed that a man may call his own."
(3)It is not easy to believe that only God belongs to us unless one acquires some
amount of devotion to Him. This is possible only through constant unremitting
practice for a long time. With faith in one's Guru and in the teachings of scriptures
one should carry on with regular practice of japa, prayer and service. In course of
time the mind gets purified and the seed of devotion grows slowly. If one has
devotion to God then there is nothing to fear or worry about. Devotion itself takes
possession and unerringly guides the devotee in all matters. Even under trying
circumstances devotees keep their balance. In fact the more the troubles the more
would be their longing and reliance on Him. The more they experience pain the
more they feel the insubstantiality of this world. Difficulties increase their
detachment further. Thus slowly but surely they progress until they reach Him and
become Blessed. We have discussed the five commandments of Sri Ramakrishna in
considerable detail. Undoubtedly any one who sincerely tries to put into practice
these five commandments will make spiritual progress and will realize God. "Hear,
ye children of immortal bliss! Even ye that reside in higher spheres! I have found the
Ancient One who is beyond all darkness, all delusion; knowing Him alone you shall
be saved from death over again."